Play That Funky Doughnut White Boy

Every now and again I want a doughnut. This craving usually hits around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. 

The Beast: "A doughnut sounds good right now."

Scott: "I don't need a doughnut."

The Beast: "Yes you do."

Scott: "Maybe I'll just have an orange. "

The Beast: "Ba ha ha... an orange, don't make me laugh."

Scott: "I'd have to drive to the store, It's not worth it."

The Beast: "CHOCOLATE COVERED PASTRY"

Scott: "Fine! But I'm only getting one."

The Beast: (sinister chuckle)

*Scott exits stage left; sound of car starting

And so I find myself walking through the front doors of Dans. I select my pastry... better make that three. (Chocolate, no sprinkles) I walk to the checkout where I have the gall to interrupt the checker's conversation with the bag boy. 

"Doughnuts... this late... wow." She says.

*awkward silence*

She starts entering in the code for the doughnuts on the keypad.

"They're not for me, They're for a friend." I say.

*awkward silence*

"I'm not an addict. I promise." I say.

"Yup." She says. "Two dollars and thirty one cents."

I give her a five. 

She gives me my change.

*awkward silence as the receipt prints*

"Well thanks for buying all our doughnuts!" She says, with a big impatient smile and wide eyes.

 

* Scott grabs bag of doughnuts and exits stage right; sound of car starting