Doodle 4

Genesis

"LET THERE BE SMOOTHIES!!" sayeth the Lord thy Scott. And there were. In the sea and in the sky and in the field. And the smoothies were great and numerous; raspberry, strawberry, orange, mango, pineapple, and mixed fruit. And on the Wednesday He partook of that which he had created. And He saw that they were good.

Play That Funky Doughnut White Boy

Every now and again I want a doughnut. This craving usually hits around 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. 

The Beast: "A doughnut sounds good right now."

Scott: "I don't need a doughnut."

The Beast: "Yes you do."

Scott: "Maybe I'll just have an orange. "

The Beast: "Ba ha ha... an orange, don't make me laugh."

Scott: "I'd have to drive to the store, It's not worth it."

The Beast: "CHOCOLATE COVERED PASTRY"

Scott: "Fine! But I'm only getting one."

The Beast: (sinister chuckle)

*Scott exits stage left; sound of car starting

And so I find myself walking through the front doors of Dans. I select my pastry... better make that three. (Chocolate, no sprinkles) I walk to the checkout where I have the gall to interrupt the checker's conversation with the bag boy. 

"Doughnuts... this late... wow." She says.

*awkward silence*

She starts entering in the code for the doughnuts on the keypad.

"They're not for me, They're for a friend." I say.

*awkward silence*

"I'm not an addict. I promise." I say.

"Yup." She says. "Two dollars and thirty one cents."

I give her a five. 

She gives me my change.

*awkward silence as the receipt prints*

"Well thanks for buying all our doughnuts!" She says, with a big impatient smile and wide eyes.

 

* Scott grabs bag of doughnuts and exits stage right; sound of car starting

My Mortality

"I might die right now. "

The thought doesn't stem from any sort of depression, sadness, anger, or woe. The thought is just me facing reality.

I might loose control of my car... and die.

I might be struck by lightning... and die.

I might get something caught in my throat... and die.

I might be trampled by a herd of cows... and die.

I might just be in the wrong place at the wrong time... and die.

Whenever I start thinking about my mortality, I ask myself: "Would I be o.k. if I died right now?"

I don't mean this in a literal sense; my body would be dead and I wouldn't have the rest of my life to live. So no, obviously I would not be o.k.

The question is more of a check in: "Am I content with my life up until now?"

When the answer is "yes" my muscles relax and all worries just kinda melt away. I take a second to smile at death. Sometimes I even whisper "bring it on."

He hasn't so far.

Doodle 3

The Old Man

I have worked at Borders Bookstore for almost 3 years now. One of the reasons I love working there is that by nature bookstores attract a very diverse clientele. The liberal, the conservative, the artsy, the sciency, the cooks, the conspiracy theorists, the creepers, and the people who get mad when we don't have green lightsabers.

The last person I helped today was an old man.  He was disheveled, sewaty, breathing hard, and smiling.

I asked him how he was today.

Grinning and squinting his eyes he said: "Oh, as good as I can be. How about you?"

I told him I was fine, and asked if I could help him find anything.

Clearing his throat, and in a rueful tone he said: "Yes... I am looking for any books you may have on stopping hearing loss, or maybe any books on recovering lost hearing."

I remember my Great Grandpa Joe sitting in his big chair, propped up by pillows. I told Grandpa how sunday school was through a microphone that connected to the stereo that connected to his bulky headphones. 

 

I wanted very much to help this man. He was so sincere; so determined. He had a problem, and he was set on finding out how to go about fixing it.

I told him that I would look it up in the computer.

He stood to my left, leaning a little on the information desk catching his breath. The search results came and we didn't carry anything on hearing loss in the store. The books listed as "availible to order" taunted me. 

I told him that we didn't have anything in the store. His smile faded.

I told him that I could take him up to the section that those books would be in... just in case.

"Yeah, I'll take a look there." His eyes were hope.

I headed towards the stairs and pointed to the elevator saying that he could take it if he would like. 

"No, no." He followed me up

There are are two levels at Borders with two landings on the staircase as it winds upwards.

As we climbed, his breathing grew heavier and his steps slowed. I reached the top and stood there uncomfortably. Should I look at him as he struggled up the last set of stairs? Maybe smile encouragingly? Should I look away? Pretend to adjust a book and leave him alone with the last few steps of torment?

I couldn't decide.

He reached the top and sighed. "Alrighty." 

We  arrived at the "Health and Wellness" section. I put one hand on my chin and used the other to touch and move aside books as I combed the shelves for books on hearing loss prevention.

There weren't any.

I told him that I didn't see any. 

"Oh, well... Ok."

Looking at the shelves dejectedly I saw some sort of family health encyclopedia thing. I snatched it off the shelf and flipped to the index desperately.

"There we are, Hearing Loss: page 349." I said.

Smiling, he took the book from me. "Good man." 

He strode off to find a seat.